My life is changed forever.
Everyone tells you that parenthood changes you. Everyone warns you about how tired you will be, how your friendships and relationships will change, how you'll never be able to do the things you 'want' to do anymore, and ask you if you're ready for that.
I won't lie. Throughout my pregnancy, I often wondered if I was really ready to be a mom. I constantly worried that I would have this baby, and wonder what I had done. I wanted to be a mom more than anything, but at 21 years old, was I really ready for the responsibility that went with it?
The minute that Brinlee was born, I knew that everything had changed. I knew that no matter what, I would never feel like I was missing out, because this is what I wanted to do. I saw this beautiful baby girl, MY baby girl, and I knew that she was the only thing I needed in my life. I saw her, and everything else disappeared. This is what I want to do, forever. Be a mom.
Every time I look at her, I fall in love a little bit more. I see this tiny little person, completely helpless, and it's like she's a super hero. At 1:00 AM, when she wakes me up because she's hungry, I'm happy to be awake. No matter how hard it is to get out of bed, it's worth it, to see her face, and to make her happy.
It's amazing to me how this feelings are so overwhelming, in the best possible way. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, and then you see this little person and it's like every struggle, every pain, every hard moment in your life was worth it, just to be there with your child. I know that no matter what happens, no matter how hard she cries or how late she stays awake, it's worth it. No matter how tired I am, or how much pain I'm in, or how frustrated I am, it's worth it.
Motherhood is my job. I used to regret not going to college, and now I know why I never did. I was made for this. Yeah, maybe that's a little cheesy, but it's true. One day when she's older, I'm sure I'll change my mind. Once she'e in school, and a little less helpless, it'll be time to focus on me, but for now, my focus is her.
I never thought I could love someone this much. So yes, parenthood does change you. It changes you in the best possible way.
it is so true.. Being a mommy and having that baby be part of you... I still tear up when I see the memes about how your child is the only thing that has heard your heartbeat from the inside... going from that, to the midnight feedings that are just yours (mamas) and the baby's time... to watching them grow.. omgosh... it is just the bets. There are times that test your patience... but then they call you mama and smile or say hi whenever you walk into the room as if they hadn't seen you all day and... *sigh*.... it is all worth it ... I am so happy for you
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