An Issue..

There is something that I need to address.

If you read my last blog post, you will know that it was pretty intense. I talked about when I was raped.

There was so much support from my readers. Some of you posted it in the comments, and many of you sent me personal messages. You guys showed me so much support, and I just want to say thank you.

What I expected, and definitely received, was a lot of negative feedback, some of which was from the people who are supposed to be my 'true' friends. I really learned the true nature of those I have surrounded myself with, and I am glad that I am able to rid myself of them now.

There was a reason it took me so long to talk about this. There are people in my life who have known for years now about what happened, and others who just found out the other day. It took me so long to be able to write that blog and post it, because I knew what people would say. They would call me a liar, a slut, and say it was my own damn fault.

What they don't understand when they say these things is that I was a child. I was 9 years old when I was 'ruined', as some of you like to put it. When you are that young, you aren't supposed to experience that kind of trauma. You simply don't have the mental capacity to know what to do about it.

I was terrified.

To everyone who said such hurtful things, I would like to say Fuck You.

To those of you who say it was my own fault, maybe it was. I could have told someone sooner. Unfortunately, I didn't have adults in my life that I felt I could trust. I was a child, and I was scared. I had no one.

To those of you who think I am ruined, I am only more whole. I have bounced back from something so traumatic and made something of myself. I'd love to see you do the same

To those of you who call me a liar, fine. Don't believe me. It's not my concern if you do. But understand that it's people like you that make children like I was scared to tell someone. You are the ones who show people that if something bad happens to them, they should keep quiet, because you choose to believe that we are all liars. We are not liars, and it takes a lot of courage to tell people about what happened. I'm not scared of you, or what you think, or what you believe. You don't own me.

To everyone in my life who has asked me why I didn't press charged, I will tell you. He was a cop at a prison. I don't know if he still is, but he was at the time of the rape. Even when I was ready to come out and tell people, I knew that he would never be charged. I would be forced to testify and relive every grimy detail in front of strangers, only to be let down. And now, when I'm ready to tell my story, the statute of limitations is over. He is free.

I want everyone who has bashed me, called me names, and thrown dirt in my face to know that I am stronger than you. I know the truth, I know what happened, and I know that I have so many people who love and support me. You cannot break me, no matter how hard you try. And when you do try, I will laugh in your face.

I am stronger than you.